tonight lets celebrate not being married
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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