come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
