just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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