I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
