haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
