Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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