1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
