don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
