how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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