Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Drunk is not a location!
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
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