So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
