Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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