I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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