That's when you crack a 10am beer
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
