And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
