how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
