she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
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