You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
as a side note pls kill me
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