I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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