there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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