his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
