i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
