I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
