so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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