2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
okay pat passed out under dana's car
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
