You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
