She's JV to your varsity
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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