I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
