would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
