I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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