they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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