You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
