haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
