We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
