that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
