Midget sex pt 2 tonight
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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