Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize