if you like me you must not know who I am
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
