man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
