It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Randomize
