I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
