Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
