No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
