i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
