I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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