Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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