I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
