actually, I'm a sock model
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
