They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Bring me that man meat
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
You've changed since you got that strap on
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
