So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
