just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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