I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
