You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
i think my cat just said my name.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
