This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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